christmas 2012

 A visit to Santa Claus

 Another year of 5 generations:

Great Great Grandpa Ken, Great Grandma TC, GiGi, Mama and Mila

 Santa was good to us! He brought M a trike, daddy a golf bag and mama a bike!

And then it was nap time. Zzzzzz.

we had a perfect Christmas this 2012. lots of family visits, three yummy dinners and memories to last a lifetime. m didn't want a thing to do with gifts. it was way more interesting to stand on the boxes and make happy faces as people oooed and ahhhhed at their gifts. we are much looking forward to a fabulous 2013!

our new journey

 two years ago I had a tubal pregnancy that ruptured my fallopian tube and resulted in emergency surgery and removal of my tube. as i'm sure you can imagine, i was completely devastated. our first pregnancy...our first baby...gone forever. our OB is a wonderful man that i trust 100% and he assured me another baby would be on it's way in no time. and sure enough, 3 months later, i saw two pink lines on the pee stick and almost had a heart attack! i was pregnant!!!! YEEHAW! we had an early ultrasound and to my very surprise, there was our precious little dot right where it was supposed to be; snuggled in my uterus. 9 months later i gave birth to an amazing sweet baby girl.

and we experienced this loss again last week. i immediately knew something was not right on Tuesday morning. boss rushed me to the ER and i told them i was sure i had internal bleeding. and of course, they looked at me like i was nutty. i said 'no, you have to believe me. i've been down this road before and i KNOW something is wrong.' an agonizing ultrasound, blood test and hour later the diagnosis was confirmed. i was experiencing another tubal pregnancy. tears. sobs. our dr arrived within minutes and after visiting pathology, told me i would once again be rushed in for surgery. more tears and more sobs. as he began to ask me about the possibility of saving my tube i cut him off with a firm 'hello no! take it.' i never wanted to risk this happening to me again. there are no words to describe how it feels to know you will never be able to conceive naturally again. it is a sad hollow feeling. and at that same moment i felt such an immense love for my baby girl playing at home. what a miracle she is.

our new journey of IVF  is going to be difficult and long. emotionally draining. i have officially joined millions of other women in the world of infertility. but we will prevail. there will be more babies for our family. i am strong and i know we will be successful. as a way to cope, i will continue to blog about our family and journey.

My Baby is One

oh happy day! our sweet baby girl has turned one. it seems like just yesterday i was laying in bed, enjoying my last hours of absolute silence and my last full night of sleep (for at least 6 months). we woke up the next morning so ready to meet her yet still terrified of the major life change. it was the best life change we have ever experienced.

M is the happiest, sweetest, most energetic and independent little girl. at one year old, her loves inculde: daddy, Roo, all animals, most anything that is edible, especially berries and spaghetti, being outdoors, swinging at the park and hanging with Mr. Ben. she pats you on the back when you give her a pat, she says "hi dad!" when he walks in the door or when she comes into a room. i fall under the 'dad' category too. i cannot say enough positive and happy things about this miracle of ours. we are head-over-heels in love with her and feel so lucky we get to have her as ours!

she loved every morsel of her vanilla cake! i think we let her eat a little too much....she didn't go to bed until 9:00 that night! wowsers were we ever tired.

daddy's girl she is

on monday we went to visit my aunt and cousins in the bay area. it was so great to visit them; if only we could do it more often! it is so much fun to see my cousins, ages 8-17, play with M and love her. i was 8 when Sam was born and i love them all so much. all 4 of them i must add. which is crazy. ive said that before too-4 kids is nuts!

during our visit my aunt took our family photos and i love every single picture! i am having a hard time just picking one for our photo wall in our house...hmmm. i may just have to pick more. my aunt took our engagement photos years ago, my maternity photos last fall and now our family of three photos! its so nice to have a photographer you are comfortable with and who you trust to take great pictures.

we also went to ikea. best. store. ever. it was the boss's first trip to ikea and i think he had a fabulous time wandering the warehouse and checking out kitchen ideas. when we got home he had a bunch of wonderful ideas to remodel our kitchen. but, unfortunately, that takes $ from the $ tree we don't have. oh well!

looking forward to this next week, making my lists, and hoping praying wishing i don't lose my mind with the craziness that is about to ensue our family. baby girl is not feeling well, we have 5 dinners (not all thanksgiving related, thank goodness) doctors appointments and family visiting. wish us luck!

Boo!

happy halloween! mila's first halloween was so much fun! we went to grandma's and gigi's for photos and then headed off to a halloween party at katie and megan's. i used to nanny for katie and megan for four years and miss them dearly. we try to get together as much as possible but they are busy little girls! megan was a witch and katie was a kitty. they just adore mila and mila adored chasing all the big kids around!!

 halloween weekend was also a very special weekend because my wonderful friend Valerie gave birth to her second baby, a beautiful little boy! I am so happy for the Pera family and for that mama! She is an absolutely great mama to Evelyn and i know Vincent open her heart to even more love!

we hope you all have a fun and safe halloween! BOO!

reunions, birthdays & busyness!

last week was a little hectic and i am hoping tonight is the last night of hectic. saturday we had the Boss's 10 year high school reunion. it was great to see old friends. we took a limo, a little reminder of prom's past, but nice to have a sober ride and spend time with close friends.

i am so proud of Trevor. in 10 years he has accomplished so much and become a wonderful husband and daddy. everyday i am reminded of why i fell in love with him and how lucky i am he is mine.










sunday we hit the pumpkin patch which wasn't quite as fantastic as i had hoped. mila couldn't have cared less (i don't blame her being 10 months old). and the Boss wasn't feeling quite up to par being the day after his reunion. oh well, we got some awesome pumpkins and there is always next year!

Boss is currently working a 6 day week so we didn't get to have the sunday part of his weekend. we miss him terribly. we had rain for a few days so M and i were stuck inside and with her being a crazy busy bee  i think we both almost lost our minds! we celebrated a wonderful friends birthday last night with sushi (yummmm!) and finally the girls are going out for a drink tonight! Phew, that is a lot.

i am ready for bed just thinking about it all. i wish.

M is 10 months old and we had her check up with the doc today. she is growing growing growing and just perfect. eating could be her favorite thing to do and she is SO close to taking off on those adorable little feet. 9 steps is the record as of this morning. i am in love with this little pooky.

Little Punkin

 Our little punkin! It was super hot out so I let her skip the clothes since she's in a hat :)

It was over 100 degrees this week so we decided to skip town and head to the coast. Only to find we were sweating there too! We had dinner at a fave spot on the water and walked around enjoying touristy shops. Mila could not get enough of the pickle! Never even puckered, she thought it was delish!!

Visitors

happy saturday!

our past week was totally crazy. we have my in-laws, well one of the two sets, coming this afternoon for a 2 day visit so i had some preparing to do! my sister-in-law is also in town for 2 months with her three little ones so we are having a big fam bam dinner sunday night. all of this means major grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, cleaning again, baking, and more cleaning! one of my favorite things to do is entertain so i was happy to oblige with dinner for 13! whoa. thats a lot of mouths to feed. 8 of which are under the age of 12. which makes me wonder why my brother and sister-in-law have so many kids!? they are nuts!

Mila moved up to a big-girl carseat so we had a trip to babies'r'us with Cady and Mr. Ben on Friday. i love spending time with those two. the babies spent the car ride taking turns hollering at each other from across the car while Cady and I did some serious chit chat about her house remodel. i can't wait to see the finished project. it will gorg!

this past week i also did some work on Mila's first halloween costume and i am just so excited to take her out! i am sure there will plenty of pictures to blog :) halloween falls on the Boss's weekend this year so that makes it extra special!

hope everyone has a great weekend!

best buddies having a sushi date.

a taste of Fall

a quick yummy recipe while the baby naps. pupkin spice cookies with chocolate chips. seriously to die for. moist. cakey. delish.

1 C shortening
2 C granulated sugar
2 eggs
2 t vanilla
1 can pumpkin (i use organic from TJ's)
4 C flour
1 1/2 t baking soda
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 t salt
1 t cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
chocolate chips

375 degrees
12-15 minutes

whip shortening, sugar, eggs and vanilla.
add pumpkin.
sift flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt cinnamon and nutmeg together.
gradually add flour mixture to wet mixture.
mix in chocolate chips.

these keep well without drying out and are just wonderful. you will want to keep them all for your family but...the recipe does make enough to share. i don't share. too yummy!

butterflies for the boss

 a hug. a sweet text. a little note. date night with the Boss is the best. i love going on dates with him. it takes me back to a time before our home, before our pup, before I Do, before our little M. a time that we'd go have drinks and be carefree. enjoy each others company. a favorite thing we do together. ok. so i love the Boss. a lot.

enough about my butterflies for the Boss.

Mila is 9 months old! WHAT?! when did that happen? she is so so so close to walking. walking. hmmmm. no mater how many times i say or see it actually happen i can't believe it! 29 inches and 21.7 pounds. a whopper. she is eating anything and everything and is happy as a clam. pretty much all the time. she has 2 bottom teeth and 1 on the top, almost 2. she absolutely loves bubbles in her bath and giving Roo kisses through the screen. we are so blessed with this joy in our lives!!!!

maybe why she loves Roo kisses?!

My Pioneer Woman Obsession

if you haven't already heard of the pioneer woman then you need to get her cookbooks or check out her blog ASAP! i have a slight obsession with her. my dinner calendar is marked with PW at least 3 nights a week (for PW dinner...rather AWESOMENESS). i've read her books. have both cookbooks. and love her photography. oh, and i record her cooking show on food network.

a recent post of hers was a recipe for Chocolate Dipped Granola Bars. it looked so fabulous i thought i'd share.

recipe from www.thepioneerwoman.com

Chocolate Dipped Granola Bars:

6 cups rolled oats (not quick oats)
4 T butter, melted
1/2 vegetable oil or canola oil
1 t salt
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 honey
1/4 cup apple juice
1/4 cup molasses
3 t vanilla
1 1/2 cups Rice Krispies
1 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup roughly chopped almonds
1/4 cup chopped pecans
8 oz. chocolate, melted

• Pre-heat oven to 350
• Toss oats with melted butter, vegetable oil and salt.
• Spread on two baking sheets, bake for 15-20 minutes shaking around twice to make sure it doesn't burn. Remove from oven and set aside.
• Reduce heat to 325
• In medium sauce pan, combine brown sugar, honey, apple juice and molasses together. Heat slowly, stir until combine. Stir in vanilla.
• Toss toasted oats, rice cereal, wheat germ and chopped nuts. Pour in sugar mixture while stirring. Toss to combine. It will be sticky!
• Press into one baking sheet that is well greased with butter or lined with foil and grease the foil. Bake 20-25 minutes, until golden. 
• Use a sharp knife to cut into bars and dip the bottom side (bar will be parallel to the counter top) in chocolate. Bars will become chewy after being. I like to break up the granola into chunks :)

PLEASE make this. it is to die for. really. would be wonderful dipped in white chocolate and peppermint chunks for Christmas treats or dye the white chocolate orange for a Halloween treat! mmmm

money. $$$. moolah.

is lame. it causes me to have that gut feeling like i might barf. i really don't like money. of course, it does buy awesome things but it also pays the bills that never seem to quit arriving. and there are always awesome things to buy! anyone know where i can find a money tree? no really, we live a comfortable life thanks to The Boss but every time i open the mail box to find a bill, mark it down on the calendar, get the check book out and blah blah blah, i cringe. anyone else feel this way? i'm done.

happy friday! too bad it's only tuesday at our home. ok, i'm really done now.

if this photo doesn't make your day.... something is wrong with you!

Another Summer Come and Gone

well, another summer has come and nearly gone in the blink of an eye. how does this happen? just like they always used to tell me "the older you get, the faster time goes." and boy, were they ever right. it seems like the time goes even faster once you become a doting, worrying, loving, tired parent!

our summer has consisted of swim lessons with Mr. Ben, an annual trip to Tahoe (our 18th!), an evening lake trip, BBQ's with friends, lots of improvements to our home and a few date nights with The Boss along the way. and in all this busyness we call life, our baby girl is 9 MONTHS OLD next week! what?!

mila-you are the light in mama and daddy's life. every morning i am so lucky to open your door and see your smiling face and bouncing legs. jumping is your favorite thing to do. avocado and cottage cheese are your favorite things to eat. quack quack, more like qack qack, is your favorite thing to say. scrunching your little nose up is the only (and cutest) way to smile. you are a lover of all people and all puppies. you have taught me patience. you have given us a love like no other.

OH BABY.

Our sweet little girl, 3 months already! The last 3 months have absolutely, hands down been the best of our lives. Laughter. Smiles. Poop. Spit up. Crying. The list of everyday changes goes on for miles. And I couldn't be happier.

We had quite the health scare with Mila. Spent a week at Sierra Vista running every test your mind can imagine and getting no answers in return. It was the toughest challenge our marriage has gone through. The amount of stress that is immediately dumped on you when your baby is sick is just unimaginable. We clung to each other in moments of wonder & pushed away when the worry was just too much. At the end of this trial, we came out stronger than ever and with a new love for our little girl....Also with lessons learned: life is so fragile and can be tested and taken from us at any moment. I am so THANKFUL for my family.

Mila is so full of life! And a wonderful baby. She has been a great sleeper from day one. I have been so lucky!!! And fearful that our next will be the opposite! At 11 weeks, she is rolling from front to back, grabbing for toys and if you put her in front of a mirror she will just laugh, smile and talk to herself all day! She thinks she is the bees-knees :) She isn't a big fan of her car seat. She adores being carried around in the Ergo Baby: we water, mow the lawn, take Roo for walks, make lunch...we do everything with her strapped to my chest.

This is Mila and Mr. Ben. Cady and I were pregnant together and due just a day apart. When we picked our day for cesarean, we thought for sure Cady would be late and the babies would be at least 2-3 weeks apart. Welp, life has it's own agenda and to my astonishment, Fritch was written on the board outside my room at the hospital. I waddled down the hall and sure enough, there Cady was in the throws of labor. Ben was born 2 days after Mila, right across the hall. We go for daily walks, shopping and have lots of Mommy/wine time together when the babies are sleeping. I absolutely love Cady and I am so lucky to have her in my life. She is a wonderful friend and we know it will be so fun to have the babies grow up together!