Thursday, December 27, 2012

christmas 2012

 A visit to Santa Claus
 Another year of 5 generations:
Great Great Grandpa Ken, Great Grandma TC, GiGi, Mama and Mila
 Santa was good to us! He brought M a trike, daddy a golf bag and mama a bike!
And then it was nap time. Zzzzzz.

we had a perfect Christmas this 2012. lots of family visits, three yummy dinners and memories to last a lifetime. m didn't want a thing to do with gifts. it was way more interesting to stand on the boxes and make happy faces as people oooed and ahhhhed at their gifts. we are much looking forward to a fabulous 2013!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

our new journey

 two years ago I had a tubal pregnancy that ruptured my fallopian tube and resulted in emergency surgery and removal of my tube. as i'm sure you can imagine, i was completely devastated. our first pregnancy...our first baby...gone forever. our OB is a wonderful man that i trust 100% and he assured me another baby would be on it's way in no time. and sure enough, 3 months later, i saw two pink lines on the pee stick and almost had a heart attack! i was pregnant!!!! YEEHAW! we had an early ultrasound and to my very surprise, there was our precious little dot right where it was supposed to be; snuggled in my uterus. 9 months later i gave birth to an amazing sweet baby girl.
and we experienced this loss again last week. i immediately knew something was not right on Tuesday morning. boss rushed me to the ER and i told them i was sure i had internal bleeding. and of course, they looked at me like i was nutty. i said 'no, you have to believe me. i've been down this road before and i KNOW something is wrong.' an agonizing ultrasound, blood test and hour later the diagnosis was confirmed. i was experiencing another tubal pregnancy. tears. sobs. our dr arrived within minutes and after visiting pathology, told me i would once again be rushed in for surgery. more tears and more sobs. as he began to ask me about the possibility of saving my tube i cut him off with a firm 'hello no! take it.' i never wanted to risk this happening to me again. there are no words to describe how it feels to know you will never be able to conceive naturally again. it is a sad hollow feeling. and at that same moment i felt such an immense love for my baby girl playing at home. what a miracle she is.

our new journey of IVF  is going to be difficult and long. emotionally draining. i have officially joined millions of other women in the world of infertility. but we will prevail. there will be more babies for our family. i am strong and i know we will be successful. as a way to cope, i will continue to blog about our family and journey.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My Baby is One

oh happy day! our sweet baby girl has turned one. it seems like just yesterday i was laying in bed, enjoying my last hours of absolute silence and my last full night of sleep (for at least 6 months). we woke up the next morning so ready to meet her yet still terrified of the major life change. it was the best life change we have ever experienced.

M is the happiest, sweetest, most energetic and independent little girl. at one year old, her loves inculde: daddy, Roo, all animals, most anything that is edible, especially berries and spaghetti, being outdoors, swinging at the park and hanging with Mr. Ben. she pats you on the back when you give her a pat, she says "hi dad!" when he walks in the door or when she comes into a room. i fall under the 'dad' category too. i cannot say enough positive and happy things about this miracle of ours. we are head-over-heels in love with her and feel so lucky we get to have her as ours!

she loved every morsel of her vanilla cake! i think we let her eat a little too much....she didn't go to bed until 9:00 that night! wowsers were we ever tired.