The feelings went from worried sick that I was losing something so important to discovering I am going to be OK and it quite possibly is a blessing in disguise. Actually, it is. Life is short. Life is too short to surround yourself with people that force you to be on constant eggshells. It has been almost been two weeks and I am finding that the eggshells are disappearing.... I feel like I am talking about a break-up, not a friendship. I keep re-reading the email(s) only to come to the same feelings and conclusions. The choice was made based on something completely untrue. Well, for me it feels untrue but who's to say what it felt like to her. Only she can be the judge of that. People will make the choices they feel best suit them and they probably will not best suit everyone that surrounds them. But in this situation, I think I am the one who is going to feel better about myself in the end.
I am going to be OK. I am a strong person who is still trying to find out what is best for me and who I need in my life. I am a constant planner and life is threatening me with that planning. As I am growing up, I don't think I ever will completely but life is trying, I am discovering the better me. The me that is strong and independent. Life is a journey. Enjoy the ride.
three things:
ReplyDeletefirst, this is a great post.
second, stop reading the emails... ;)
third, it's so awesome you are trying to be the better you; to find the awesomeness that's in you... just know that you are loved just like you are now... i think that acceptance allows you to accept your own best.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!! keep writing.
Thanks Elissa:) I love you too!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete