christmas 2012

 A visit to Santa Claus

 Another year of 5 generations:

Great Great Grandpa Ken, Great Grandma TC, GiGi, Mama and Mila

 Santa was good to us! He brought M a trike, daddy a golf bag and mama a bike!

And then it was nap time. Zzzzzz.

we had a perfect Christmas this 2012. lots of family visits, three yummy dinners and memories to last a lifetime. m didn't want a thing to do with gifts. it was way more interesting to stand on the boxes and make happy faces as people oooed and ahhhhed at their gifts. we are much looking forward to a fabulous 2013!

our new journey

 two years ago I had a tubal pregnancy that ruptured my fallopian tube and resulted in emergency surgery and removal of my tube. as i'm sure you can imagine, i was completely devastated. our first pregnancy...our first baby...gone forever. our OB is a wonderful man that i trust 100% and he assured me another baby would be on it's way in no time. and sure enough, 3 months later, i saw two pink lines on the pee stick and almost had a heart attack! i was pregnant!!!! YEEHAW! we had an early ultrasound and to my very surprise, there was our precious little dot right where it was supposed to be; snuggled in my uterus. 9 months later i gave birth to an amazing sweet baby girl.

and we experienced this loss again last week. i immediately knew something was not right on Tuesday morning. boss rushed me to the ER and i told them i was sure i had internal bleeding. and of course, they looked at me like i was nutty. i said 'no, you have to believe me. i've been down this road before and i KNOW something is wrong.' an agonizing ultrasound, blood test and hour later the diagnosis was confirmed. i was experiencing another tubal pregnancy. tears. sobs. our dr arrived within minutes and after visiting pathology, told me i would once again be rushed in for surgery. more tears and more sobs. as he began to ask me about the possibility of saving my tube i cut him off with a firm 'hello no! take it.' i never wanted to risk this happening to me again. there are no words to describe how it feels to know you will never be able to conceive naturally again. it is a sad hollow feeling. and at that same moment i felt such an immense love for my baby girl playing at home. what a miracle she is.

our new journey of IVF  is going to be difficult and long. emotionally draining. i have officially joined millions of other women in the world of infertility. but we will prevail. there will be more babies for our family. i am strong and i know we will be successful. as a way to cope, i will continue to blog about our family and journey.

My Baby is One

oh happy day! our sweet baby girl has turned one. it seems like just yesterday i was laying in bed, enjoying my last hours of absolute silence and my last full night of sleep (for at least 6 months). we woke up the next morning so ready to meet her yet still terrified of the major life change. it was the best life change we have ever experienced.

M is the happiest, sweetest, most energetic and independent little girl. at one year old, her loves inculde: daddy, Roo, all animals, most anything that is edible, especially berries and spaghetti, being outdoors, swinging at the park and hanging with Mr. Ben. she pats you on the back when you give her a pat, she says "hi dad!" when he walks in the door or when she comes into a room. i fall under the 'dad' category too. i cannot say enough positive and happy things about this miracle of ours. we are head-over-heels in love with her and feel so lucky we get to have her as ours!

she loved every morsel of her vanilla cake! i think we let her eat a little too much....she didn't go to bed until 9:00 that night! wowsers were we ever tired.

daddy's girl she is

on monday we went to visit my aunt and cousins in the bay area. it was so great to visit them; if only we could do it more often! it is so much fun to see my cousins, ages 8-17, play with M and love her. i was 8 when Sam was born and i love them all so much. all 4 of them i must add. which is crazy. ive said that before too-4 kids is nuts!

during our visit my aunt took our family photos and i love every single picture! i am having a hard time just picking one for our photo wall in our house...hmmm. i may just have to pick more. my aunt took our engagement photos years ago, my maternity photos last fall and now our family of three photos! its so nice to have a photographer you are comfortable with and who you trust to take great pictures.

we also went to ikea. best. store. ever. it was the boss's first trip to ikea and i think he had a fabulous time wandering the warehouse and checking out kitchen ideas. when we got home he had a bunch of wonderful ideas to remodel our kitchen. but, unfortunately, that takes $ from the $ tree we don't have. oh well!

looking forward to this next week, making my lists, and hoping praying wishing i don't lose my mind with the craziness that is about to ensue our family. baby girl is not feeling well, we have 5 dinners (not all thanksgiving related, thank goodness) doctors appointments and family visiting. wish us luck!

Boo!

happy halloween! mila's first halloween was so much fun! we went to grandma's and gigi's for photos and then headed off to a halloween party at katie and megan's. i used to nanny for katie and megan for four years and miss them dearly. we try to get together as much as possible but they are busy little girls! megan was a witch and katie was a kitty. they just adore mila and mila adored chasing all the big kids around!!

 halloween weekend was also a very special weekend because my wonderful friend Valerie gave birth to her second baby, a beautiful little boy! I am so happy for the Pera family and for that mama! She is an absolutely great mama to Evelyn and i know Vincent open her heart to even more love!

we hope you all have a fun and safe halloween! BOO!

reunions, birthdays & busyness!

last week was a little hectic and i am hoping tonight is the last night of hectic. saturday we had the Boss's 10 year high school reunion. it was great to see old friends. we took a limo, a little reminder of prom's past, but nice to have a sober ride and spend time with close friends.

i am so proud of Trevor. in 10 years he has accomplished so much and become a wonderful husband and daddy. everyday i am reminded of why i fell in love with him and how lucky i am he is mine.










sunday we hit the pumpkin patch which wasn't quite as fantastic as i had hoped. mila couldn't have cared less (i don't blame her being 10 months old). and the Boss wasn't feeling quite up to par being the day after his reunion. oh well, we got some awesome pumpkins and there is always next year!

Boss is currently working a 6 day week so we didn't get to have the sunday part of his weekend. we miss him terribly. we had rain for a few days so M and i were stuck inside and with her being a crazy busy bee  i think we both almost lost our minds! we celebrated a wonderful friends birthday last night with sushi (yummmm!) and finally the girls are going out for a drink tonight! Phew, that is a lot.

i am ready for bed just thinking about it all. i wish.

M is 10 months old and we had her check up with the doc today. she is growing growing growing and just perfect. eating could be her favorite thing to do and she is SO close to taking off on those adorable little feet. 9 steps is the record as of this morning. i am in love with this little pooky.

Little Punkin

 Our little punkin! It was super hot out so I let her skip the clothes since she's in a hat :)

It was over 100 degrees this week so we decided to skip town and head to the coast. Only to find we were sweating there too! We had dinner at a fave spot on the water and walked around enjoying touristy shops. Mila could not get enough of the pickle! Never even puckered, she thought it was delish!!